Humanity
Chastity
quick ideas about chastity. What is chastity? Benefits of chastity. Is chastity possible?
Español1. What is chastity?
The virtue of purity or chastity is the habit of using sexuality correctly. Chastity moderates sexual appetites and makes them reasonable. It is an important virtue that enables one to love. If it deteriorates, it has serious consequences for human dignity and the family. Chastity can be lived in three situations: individually, in a relationship, or in marriage.
2. How is it practised individually?
Individually, chastity avoids sexual pleasure outside its proper context, protecting and educating one’s own heart. Precisely because it protects the heart from selfishness and enables true love to flourish, it is considered so essential.
3. How is it practised in relationships?
In non-committed relationships, chastity rejects sexual pleasure, whether alone or with another person.
4. How is chastity practised in marriage?
The virtue of purity or chastity in marriage includes the correct use of sex with one’s spouse, open to children, and the rejection of other sexual pleasures.
5. Can I not do whatever I want with my body?
It is possible to do many things with our bodies; however, not all of them are correct or fitting for human beings. For example, drug use is clearly not good.
6. Is the body an object which I own?
No, no. The human body is not an object that we own, since human beings are both body and soul, bodily and spiritual. Because of this:
- Those who care for the dignity of the body protect the dignity of the person.
- Respect for one’s own body or for another’s body is respect for the whole person.
- Whoever mistreats a body abuses a human being. Therefore, if someone stabs another person, he should be punished because he has hurt a person, not an object.
1. Chastity improves the dignity of human beings
- From two points of view:
- Human beings are not objects or tools. One does not “use” a human being. If a person is “used,” he or she feels mistreated and in fact experiences a violation of dignity. In this sense, chastity prevents human beings from being used to obtain pleasure.
- Chastity helps to maintain the value that corresponds to the body and to sex. To explain this, it is not easy to find contemporary examples. Imagine a monarch a few centuries ago. Imagine his crown, used on the most important occasions. And imagine that someone uses that royal crown to pick up litter. It would be an offense against the dignity of the king. The use of the body merely to obtain pleasure reduces the value of sex, which is closely linked to the gift of parenthood.
2. Chastity improves the respect for oneself and others too
- It is a consequence of what we have said above, since one respects what one considers worthy of respect. If one values the dignity of the human body in sexuality, it is much easier to act correctly toward other people in other areas of life. And the reverse is also true: if the human body is misused to satisfy sexual preferences, it becomes easier to mistreat it for other whims. This shows that sexual degradation harms many other aspects of life.
3. Some examples
- Domestic violence is violence and not impurity; however, the two are not too far apart, since in both cases a human body is abused. If the human body becomes a mere object that I use to obtain pleasure, it is very easy for me to pour my anger onto that object if it opposes me. If I like it, I use it. If I dislike it, I beat it.
- Sexual lawlessness is closely linked to drug and alcohol addiction because these too mistreat the human body. This does not mean that they always appear together; however, it is easier to fall into one vice if one has already been defeated by something similar.
4. Chastity frees us from slavery
- There is a correct inclination in sexuality: to form a family. The willingness to have children, each husband with his wife, is good and natural. The pleasures involved are also good and desirable. Nevertheless, in sexuality there is a tendency to seek sexual pleasures in any shape or form, with anyone. This is no longer natural and should be restrained. If one gives in during this battle, the inclination grows as pleasures are obtained and an obsession begins to form; this form of slavery can be called sex addiction. The virtue of chastity frees us from those chains, helping human beings become masters of their actions in this field.
5. Chastity protects and increases our capacity to love
- Uncontrolled sexual desire leads to selfishness and to craving pleasures at any cost. This slavery to personal whims or preferences hinders our ability to love, since love invites one to seek the good of others even when personal preferences must be denied. Love and selfishness do not get along: if one is encouraged, the other falls. If one is freed from selfishness and seeks the good of others, this benefits others and also oneself, as the heart grows. Chastity increases our capacity to love through its victory over selfishness. This virtue is an indispensable requirement that purifies the heart and allows it to show true affection.
C. IS CHASTITY POSSIBLE? HOW?
1. Is it possible to live chastity?
In certain places, it is difficult to live chastity. However, it is always possible to practice it with the help of several resources, which we can group into three points: one’s own effort, God’s help, and other people’s help. These means can be put into practice at the moment of battle or beforehand, so that we are ready and trained.
2. One’s own effort
can be applied in several different fields:
- The decision to struggle.- Repeat the firm desire to keep a clean heart. To strengthen this decision, it may be useful to set small objectives such as “until next Wednesday,” etc.
- Flee from occasions.- It may be a good idea to avoid places or settings that invite sin, such as certain beaches, nightclubs, television, internet content… In the end, abstaining from some things is small compared with defending one’s most precious treasure: the ability to love.
- Guard the sight.- Sight is closely linked to our desires, and controlling it can protect and educate the heart. It may be a good idea to train oneself by looking away from ordinary images that curiosity wants us to look at.
- Serve others so that the heart learns to love.
- Get angry.- Remember something that will annoy you. Anger usually ends an excess of romanticism. Without a doubt, anger should also be restrained, but sometimes it is useful to overcome temptation.
- Prepare ideas or ways to counterattack beforehand so that when temptations come one is ready. For example: I want to keep my sight, my thoughts, my heart clean; I want to be freed from this slavery; Holy Mary, help me; etc. It is convenient that they be short and positive, although negative phrases or phrases of rejection can also work.
- Prepare images beforehand to counterattack. For example, remember a goal, an event, or any thought that grips the mind more strongly than the temptation.
- Mortification.- The habit of restraining one’s preferences helps us control sexual matters.
- Sobriety in food.- Similar to the above. One who can dominate the desire to eat will also be better able to control the body. For example, if temptations come at night, it may be a good idea to have a lighter dinner.
- Eat less pork.- This suggestion comes from Saint Hildegard of Bingen, who says that this meat foments lust. This does not mean that it cannot be eaten.
3. Examples of Mortifications?
Some sacrifices that help to dominate one’s own body:
- Sit in uncomfortable postures, mastering the sense of touch, which is closely linked to sexual pleasures.
- Take quick showers even when we feel like making them longer.
- Eat with moderation, controlling taste and appetite.
4. Does God help in the struggle to be chaste?
God’s help is obtained through prayer, the sacraments, devotion to Our Lady, etc. It is good to persevere humbly in asking for divine help.
5. Why is humility useful to be chaste?
A proud person is haughty toward God, while the humble person has the correct perspective regarding creatures (human beings) and the Creator (God). Consequently:
- Humility is necessary to advance in any virtue, since “God resists the proud and gives His grace to the humble.”
- The influence of God benefits both body and soul. When the soul rebels against God, balance is broken and the body rebels against the soul. If the soul places itself before God, the body too will respect the voice of the will.
6. Help from others in Chastity?
To advance in Christian life, it is very advisable to have spiritual direction, where one receives advice and encouragement that help in the struggle. This help will only be fruitful if there is sincerity. In the case of chastity, sincerity is hard, but it has a doubly positive effect: one receives help and also grows in humility. Pride finds it hard to admit defects; by doing so, humility is strengthened.
7. Mutual help in relationships?
It is good that both girlfriend and boyfriend be determined to live chastity, helping one another by defending their heart, their dignity, and their love. Something similar can be said of married couples: it is good that both want to have children, use marriage properly, and be faithful.