Virtues

Sincerity

quick ideas about sincerity. What is sincerity? Sincerity with oneself. Sincerity with others.

A. What is sincerity?

1. What is sincerity?

Sincerity is the habit of expressing the truth, so that what one expresses coincides with what one really thinks and lives.

2. Types of sincerity?

Several forms of sincerity are distinguished:

Sincerity in speech: words truly express one's thoughts.
Sincerity of life: one's actions truly show what one thinks. Coherence between deeds and ideals.
Sincerity in the narrow sense: not telling lies; equivalent to veracity.
Sincerity in the broad sense: not telling lies and not hiding information from those who need to know it. Veracity consists in not lying; the sincere person in addition to not lying shows himself openly.

3. Is sincerity easy?

It depends. Sincerity is easy when the truth causes no problems and does not tarnish one's own dignity. For example, if one is asked "who did this?" and it concerns something well done, it is simple to admit that one did it. On the other hand, sincerity becomes costly when the consequences of a truth may be unpleasant. For example, the same question is harder to answer when one must admit a blunder or a breakage. Sometimes sincerity requires courage.

4. What benefits does sincerity provide?

With sincerity, one sometimes comes across well before others, who appreciate the truth. One also comes across well before one's own conscience, which applauds sincere behavior.
Sincerity is indispensable for trust, and therefore for relating to others. For example, it facilitates teamwork.
In spiritual life, sincerity is essential: for confession, for spiritual direction, for humility, for not being left alone...

5. Must one always say what one thinks?

Not always. Sincerity has limits:

Charity is more important. One cannot insult another even if one thinks something critical. Nor should one point out others' faults unless doing so would help them.
Respect for a good reputation is another limit on sincerity. Others' errors must not be spread.
Another limit on sincerity is the defense of one's own privacy. There are things that should not be communicated to everyone.

6. How to foster sincerity?

These ideas can help:

The courageous overcome the fear of looking bad. People of ability know how to seek support and advice, setting out the situation sincerely.
Appreciating truth and showing it. This helps the desire for truth to spread.
Thanking others for their gestures of sincerity makes it easier for them to practice it. Similarly, it is fitting to moderate punishment when a fault has been sincerely acknowledged.
The best resource for sincerity is to remember frequently our divine filiation. A child of God knows himself loved by him, and does not fear scolding or being less esteemed. In this way he easily overcomes any fear.
Regarding spiritual direction, it is useful to remember that we are part of a team and are on the same side. And this must genuinely be so.

7. How to practice sincerity?

Training oneself to acknowledge small faults is an exercise in sincerity.
Avoiding internal and external excuses for one's own failings. Acknowledging them without concealment.
Training oneself to keep one's word. This is an exercise in loyalty but also in sincerity: what I say now I make true in the future by keeping my word.

B. Sincerity with oneself

1. Difficulties in being sincere with oneself?

They are mainly two:

Pride. A somewhat proud person considers himself much better than he really is, and finds it hard to acknowledge his faults because this would lower his own dignity in his own eyes. Perhaps he has difficulty loving and finds it hard to esteem someone with defects. Since he desires to love himself, he does not want to see himself with faults. And he does not acknowledge them.
Comfort. More or less consciously, one notices that acknowledging a defect implies beginning to correct it. And it is well known that any change requires effort. In conclusion: a defect found brings an added battle with it. But comfort flees from any uncomfortable battle. Therefore, if one is desirous of ease, one does not want to hear talk of defects.

2. Benefits of sincerity with oneself?

There are several, and they are quite important — always stemming from the fact of acknowledging one's own faults. Here are some:

It allows one to correct oneself and improve, since acknowledging one's own defects is a prior step toward removing them.
It allows one to have an upright conscience, which distinguishes good from evil.
It allows one to ask forgiveness of God and of others. It avoids pride.
It improves intellectual capacity — a surprising statement that calls for a brief comment. The intellect's mission is to seek truth. If one is accustomed to being sincere, it will be easier to recognize reality and separate it from what is false or half-true. On the other hand, it is harder to find truth for someone who has the mental habit of adjusting what is true according to their own tastes or interests. Personal truth helps one find the truth of things, and in this sense the intellect improves.

C. Sincerity with others

1. Must one be sincere with everyone?

Yes, but not in the same way. One must not lie, but there are things that should only be shared with some people. Prudence invites a graduated sincerity according to the persons with whom one speaks, according to the degree of trust placed in them. Thus there are facts that can be made known to everyone, but there are topics that are only communicated to friends. Similarly, there are matters proper to the family or to the workplace, and things that are only shared in spiritual direction.

2. Is this about deceiving people?

It is not about deceiving people, but about protecting one's privacy a little. This protection is unnecessary in heaven, where there is nothing to hide and no one will trample on it. But on earth mockery and stabs are plentiful, and for this reason sincerity must not be absolute with everyone, even though one must tell the truth to everyone.

3. Difficulties in being sincere with others?

The possibility of a scolding. If one has done something wrong and says so, one may earn a reprimand — perhaps a lesser one if the fault is acknowledged. However, a responsible person knows how to give an account of their actions and accepts the consequences of their errors. Here responsibility and sincerity go together.
Fear of being less esteemed. A person is attracted by the gifts and virtues they observe in others, and accordingly, whoever acknowledges a defect will be less valued. This is a reality and may be the core reason for keeping quiet. However, to love is to desire someone's good, and one can desire the good of anyone regardless of the defects they may accumulate.

4. Benefits of sincerity with others?

Sincerity — with a trusted person — offers several advantages:

It is easier to help someone who admits their errors, because they are seen as needing assistance.
The sincere person will be more appreciated for the sincerity shown. Trust increases.
One can relieve one's worries. Solitude diminishes.
One may receive appropriate advice and timely encouragement.

5. Is it fitting to have spiritual direction?

Spiritual direction is a very beneficial aid to the soul. It allows one to practice humility and sincerity in acknowledging errors. Docility is practiced in listening to advice, and faith in seeing in those orientations the divine Will. Human support is available. And above all, God rewards all of this with an increase of grace.

6. Is sincerity necessary in spiritual direction?

Everyone knows the answer. Only with this sincerity are the benefits of appropriate support and advice obtained.