Loving is seeking the good

Love as a feeling helps, but it rises and falls. The steadiest love desires the good of the other even when you don't feel like it, when there is no reward, or when it falls on you to correct with gentleness. This idea clarifies many relationships. Loving is not using someone to feel better; it is asking what real good that person needs and what part is yours to play. Loving well means treating the other as a person, not as someone I use to be comfortable, receive approval, or vent what I carry inside. Affection is needed, yes, but also prudence: knowing when to speak, when to stay silent, when to correct, and when to accompany.