You did not choose your starting point

Certain ways of reacting are learned before we can examine them: keeping silent about conflicts, shouting to be heard, distrusting affection, or measuring worth by results. Recognizing where they come from avoids unfair guilt and allows naming the wound. Yet understanding the origin does not oblige you to repeat it. Upon reaching adult life, a new responsibility appears: reviewing what you want to keep, what needs help, and what chain must not pass to those who come behind you. You will not always manage to change it alone or quickly. Seeking accompaniment, practicing another response, and repairing when you slip up already changes the inheritance. Honoring your own history does not consist in copying it whole, but in being grateful for the good and patiently transforming what still causes harm.