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Look for what is good before pointing out the error

Mark as read

Recognizing what is true in another person does not weaken your correction; it gives it a solid place from which to move forward.

A mistaken viewpoint often contains a legitimate concern: a desire for justice, fear of abuse, or a need to belong. If you ignore that good, the person feels you are rejecting their entire world. Starting with what can be salvaged is neither flattery nor a tactic. It means doing justice to the whole reality. Afterwards, you can show where the chosen means contradicts the very good it sought to protect. St. Paul spoke in Athens starting from the altar to the unknown God. He found a point of contact without endorsing idolatry. You too can look for shared truth. Correcting from that shared ground helps the other person not have to deny their whole story to acknowledge a mistake.

Key idea

Recognizing the partial good present in a view creates a truthful starting point from which to correct what is disordered.

Your challenge for this idea

Before answering a mistaken opinion, fairly formulate what legitimate concern it might contain.

BASED ON

Tolerance →