Listening is not waiting for your turn

While the other person is speaking, you may already be preparing your anecdote, your defense, or the advice that will solve everything. You do not interrupt them, but nor do you let their experience change what you thought before starting. Truly listening demands a small sacrifice: suspending your interpretation and asking questions until you understand what the other person means, not just what words they used. At times you will discover they are not looking for a solution, but a safe space to sort out what they are experiencing. A mature conversation does not force you to agree. It asks you to receive the other's reality first with respect. Afterward you can speak with more precision and less sharpness, because your reply will stem from the encounter and not from a speech you had already prepared.