Forgiving while it still hurts

On 26 December the Church celebrates Saint Stephen, the first martyr. He was one of the deacons of the first Christian community in Jerusalem. He was falsely accused and stoned. As the stones fell, he prayed as Jesus did on the cross: "Lord, do not hold this sin against them" (Acts 7:60). It seems strange to remember a martyr right after the birth of Jesus. But it makes sense: the Child of Bethlehem comes to teach us to love like that, even to the point of forgiving whoever hurts us. We'll almost never face anything so extreme. But we will face the hurtful comment, the injustice at work, the relative who brings up the subject again at dinner. Forgiving isn't denying that it hurts. It's refusing to hit back, even while it still hurts.