Firm and gentle at the same time

When we have to disagree, we usually fall into an extreme. Either we stay quiet for fear of a fight and swallow it, or we blurt out what we think without caring who we say it to. Softness that says nothing or harshness that crushes: the two seem opposite, but both fail. There is a third path, more difficult: being firm and gentle at the same time. Clear convictions in substance and kind treatment in manner. Telling the truth with affection costs more than avoiding conflict and more than blurting it out point-blank, because it requires depth and delicacy at the same time. That is the style of true charity: it does not avoid all tension nor does it seek it, but it refuses to dehumanize the other. You can disagree, say so with clarity, and, even so, leave the person whole, without wounding them along the way.