Do not rush to offer solutions

It is hard for us to listen without fixing. Someone begins telling us something that hurts and we are already preparing advice, the phrase that solves it, the "what you need to do is...". And often, without meaning to, we cut off just what the person needed: room to speak and bring order to their inner world. A good friend knows how to stay quiet without blurting out an instant opinion. They let the other arrive at their own pace, ask a question instead of giving an answer, and bear the silence without filling it. That is not failing to help; often it is the best help of all. Advice, when its time comes, is appreciated. But first comes truly listening. Keep the solution to yourself for a while and stay with what you are being told: often, that is enough.